Terms, shipping & returns

By ordering a vestment from the Church of the Singularity you agree to what follows. The doctrine is satire; this page is not.

What you are buying

Each design is the icon from a sermon or a monthly gospel window, printed direct-to-garment on a black unisex blank. Everything is made to order — nothing is held in stock, and nothing is printed until you buy it.

• —Tee, Bella + Canvas 3001 — from $37, sizes S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL
• —Tank, Bella + Canvas 3480 — from $43, sizes S, M, L, XL, 2XL
• —Hoodie, Gildan 18500 — from $68, sizes S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL

Full fabric specifications, print sizes and a size chart for each garment are on every product page. Screens vary, so colours and placement may differ slightly from the preview. We may decline or cancel any order and refund it.

Prices and payment

Prices are in US dollars. Payment is processed by Stripe; we never see or store your card details. Larger sizes and a second print location cost more, and the price shown before you pay is the final one.

Shipping is included

There is no shipping charge, anywhere we ship, with no minimum. Sales tax, where it applies, is included too. The price on the product page is the price you pay.

Orders are produced and shipped by Printful from the US, EU, UK, Canada, Australia and Japan, routed to whichever facility is nearest you. Because each item is made to order, allow about 1–2 weeks in the US and about 1–3 weeks elsewhere, from order to doorstep. Those are typical windows and not guarantees — we are not responsible for carrier delays. Any customs or import duties are the recipient's responsibility.

Returns and refunds

Because every item is printed for you individually, we cannot accept returns or exchanges for a change of mind or a size chosen in error — use the size chart on the product page before ordering. Anything defective, misprinted, damaged or simply not what you ordered gets a free reprint or a full refund within 30 days of delivery.

The full policy, including wrong addresses and parcels lost in transit, is on refunds & returns.

The designs

The sermons, gospels and icons are machine-generated satire about technology, faith and the culture around them. They are not religious instruction, not advice of any kind, and not claims about any real person or organisation. Artwork remains ours; buying a vestment does not license the design for resale or reproduction.

Liability

Products are provided "as is". To the fullest extent permitted by law, our liability for any order is limited to the amount you paid for it.

Contact

A human reads this address, which given the subject matter of this website is worth stating plainly: moc.ytiralugnisehtfohcruhctsrif@ofni.

Last updated 17 August 2026.